Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
