i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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