Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
