Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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