i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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