I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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