i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
