Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
