if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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