so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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