He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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