I will die if light touches me.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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