good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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