Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I love having hate sex.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
