**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
