Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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