Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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