That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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