glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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