He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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