the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
