you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
