508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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