I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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