I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
