i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just had sex bonerless
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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