The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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