I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
