filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
