I just made out with a guy for $7.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize