I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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