I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
