my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize