Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
