Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
