So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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