Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
