We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
