I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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