Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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