i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
