There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
