Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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