She said her name was "party"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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