Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
