every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
