So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
