shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
