we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
