Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Soap is not a condiment
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
