Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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