I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
