i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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