Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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