It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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