i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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