I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize