THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
