are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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